December 19, 2011

On Holiday

Today has been the best Monday in the history of pretty much ever. I woke up around 8 or so, but I stayed in bed for an hour watching The Office and reading Room (haunting book). Then I worked out for my fourth consecutive day, took a shower, played piano, watched The Christmas Post (because I'm finally to the point where I feel like I wouldn't be sick if I watched it!), planned what to wear to dinner tonight, curled my hair, painted my nails.

It's been a long time since I've done that stuff.

I feel really good taking time for me. Next on the agenda is my journal/Bible time... and planning some presents *gulp*.

By the way, The Christmas Post was really really cute. I don't remember being that cute. ^_^ I'll probably feel the same way next year when I watch One Bethlehem Night, although I never really got as tired of that one.

Here's my "Do" list for Christmas vacation:
- six week six pack (already four days in!)
- pick songs for the junior choir (I feel like this will be the hardest thing)
- chapter six French homework (overachiever!)
- go to Vancouver <3
- set up piano lessons (priority!)
- complete schedule
- schedule a retainer check (why are the easiest things always the hardest...?)
- clean room (ohboy.)
- read the Bible :)
- memorize French poem
- buy books & supplies

I'm so excited to teach piano again. I'll be working at Sizzler a little bit less, but that's okay :) I also have the opportunity to start teaching voice lessons to an exuberant 11-year-old in my life... at least I think she's 11... and I'm a little bit scared but mostly excited for that. Opportunities, opportunities, opportunities!

And now, I shall stop babbling, and be off to take care of some of the things on my list! (Doubt that I'll get that retainer check scheduled today :P)

December 12, 2011

Coley's Feel-Betters

Got SAD? Here are a few of my feel-betters that work all year long.

1) Always start & end with your bed. If I can make my bed in the morning and that's all I do all day... I still feel like I've done a lot.

2) Animal print underwear. I'm not kidding, it helps.

3) Giant yellow beanbag chairs. I understand these are hard to come by, so you're always welcome to come & use mine.

4) Coffeecoffeecoffee. Cold or hot or blended or black. Doesn't matter. It's a feel-better. I find it's better to pay $4.15 and have the best day ever each day than the alternative...

5) The Office. Self-explanatory.

6) Clean your space. When your room isn't cluttered, usually your mind isn't either. See #1.

7) Dove dark chocolate. If I thought anyone would believe me, I'd tell you that I only eat them for the cutesy messages on the inside.

8) Journal it up. Need to study? Who cares? Write a poem first. Homework can wait 15 minutes while you empty your heart.

9) Be pretty. Make yourself feel good.

10) Smile. On purpose. With intention. :)

November 23, 2011

Thankful :)

I'm thankful for today, for sunshine, for frost, for tall boots.

I'm thankful for family, for friends good and not-so-good, for love and laughter shared.

I'm thankful for opportunity, for having a job I love and for one I maybe don't love as much, for a home and car.

I'm thankful for the huge lattes that make me fake happy on days when I need it, and just extra happy on days when I don't.

I'm thankful for a mom that I can fight with, instead of hiding stuff from her.

I'm thankful for two beautiful nieces who will soon be taller than I.

I'm thankful for Jesus spreading His arms wide and dying because He loves me that much.

I'm thankful for poetry, for music, for my purity ring,

I'm thankful I know a handful of gentlemen so that I know how I should expect to be treated.

I'm thankful for feathers, for leaves, for gentle snow, for sand, for grass, for wind, for sky.

I'm thankful to have my brother home for a few days.

I'm thankful for warmth and heat and snuggling.

I'm thankful for you <3

November 2, 2011

10 Things I Love About Alexa Fey Schnee

Last fall, I took a writing 101 course at FVCC. My first assignment was to write an article for the college newspaper, and the topic I chose was Alexa Fey Schnee. It was so easy, it almost felt like cheating. I wrote out about 7 questions and interviewed her in the big conference room downstairs in AT. The article was fabulous and I received an A (I remember it was my first college A! I felt like such a big girl).

On Alexa's blog, she often writes "Ten Things" posts. I thought it would be cute if I wrote a "Ten Things I Love about Lex" segment for my own article. I did write it out, but it made the article too long to fit the requirements, so I had to omit the whole section (unfortunately). However, as I was just now paging through my writing 101 notebook, I found the list, and it's too cute not to share.

1. Her positive outlook. Cliche', I know. But anyone that can cheer me up when I'm PMSing and coffee deprived deserves to be called positive.

2. Her wardrobe. Sometimes she gives me hand-me-down pieces of it; lucky me!

3. Her haircut. I adore the super short haircut that practically screams, "I'm a classy author!" and "I belong to Paris!" (not Hilton.)

4. Her middle name. Alexa Fey has such a romantic ring to it.

5. Her pink Blackberry. But I'm not jealous, honest. I just love it.

6. Her sense of humor. If you get the chance, ask her about the time she told the phone solicitor that at age 15, she was the proprietor of an orphanage....

7. Her smile. Another cliche', I realize, but there's nothing like a bright sunshiney Alexa smile.

8. Her little Alexa-isms that I try to save and write down for when she is famous. "You need to expand your horizons, Coley. Men are like chocolate. If you have a type, you might miss out on something dark and delicious."

9. Her taste in men. Another wording of this statement could be, "her obsession with Gerard Butler." I believe we could all use a little more Gerard in our lives.

10. Sappy as this may sound... her friendship to me. Seems like we just always got along very well. Lex and her Coley. Same size feet. One a writer, one a singer. Linking arms and sharing stories. Living life one day at a time. Holding hands on occasion (when it is not awkward to do so).

She's gonna laugh when she sees I posted this :)

I'm Not Unworthy

I went to the gym today for the first time in more than two months.

It's not because I'm lazy that I haven't been going; more of the opposite actually. When I planned out my school  schedule as I ambitiously do each semester, I made plans to visit the gym at least 3 times a week and work out at home on the other days (along with my job, my 20 credits, my choir directing, my play, and sleeping sometime?).

Ha. Ha.

So finally, this week, I decided I would never have time, and that if it was going to happen, I would just have to suck it up and make it happen.

So I did.

While I was there, I felt amazing. Often when I visit the gym, I feel almost unworthy to be there. I have this mental block that I should work out at home and get all thin and sexy FIRST, and THEN go to the gym and look as amazing as I feel I ought to.

Ha. Ha.

But today, I didn't feel embarrassed. Granted, I didn't feel thin or sexy... but I didn't feel unworthy either. I felt proud of myself. I felt like I'm starting somewhere, and that felt really good.

Lately I have just been experiencing and re-experiencing the Lord making me new, each day... and I love it.

No more laughing, 'cause this is awesome. :)

October 28, 2011

A Post Without Words

October 21, 2011

Awkward and Awesome (Mostly Awesome, Partly Awkward) Thursday a Day Late....

Commencing the craziest weekend--no, week?-- of my life.

Yesterday I got my grade back on my French presentation. Jana gave me 100%, even though some of my grammar was wrong and I didn't place all the right accents in all the right places. I don't feel right bragging anywhere but my blog, so I feel like I can say all this here :) she whispered to me as I came in that it was the best presentation she had ever had. Then she told me that if I wanted to work through a module a day, she would help me do that. Ha. Good thing she was joking. (Our book is a two-semester text with fourteen modules.)

Also yesterday, I managed to get my persuasive speech out of the way, which feels great. I was the only person ready to go, but I'm so glad. Even if I had waited until Tuesday, then I would be competing with other people for the chance to get it done, and I wouldn't be that much readier by Tuesday anyways. I'm the type of person who, if given extra time to do something, I just cram the night before. Extra time does nothing.

All in all, though, the speech went really well. I felt confident and well-informed, and the rest of the class was responsive and said my topic was interesting. I wanted to eventually record the speech with my webcam (since one of the managers at Sizzler, Sona, really wanted to see it) but I don't think I will find a spare minute for that until Christmas vacation. When I do, I'll probably post it on here.

Finally, I worked... and here comes the awkward part of awkward and awesome.

People were really mean yesterday. I mean like snooty. They were stuck up and rude and just ugh. One family came in and it was pretty busy and I was the only counter person, so I was a little irked when the mom and daughter ordered 2 salad bars and the dad was texting.

Without even looking up, he ordered "the biggest New York strip."

Now, in my head, I'm going, What the heck is a New York strip? And at first I thought maybe he did order something we had and I just heard him wrong. So, I looked at him expectantly. He looked at his wife, and back to me. "Are you having trouble hearing me??"

Now, it's hard to convey tone of voice over text. But this guy was irritation at its best. Sometimes people just send me over the edge, especially in my line of work. His voice was oozing sarcasm. I just wanted to kick him in the shins.

Instead, I smiled sweetly and said, "Are you asking me for the biggest steak on the menu?" 

Get me out of here.

*sigh* Another crazy weekend in the life of Nicole, coming right up!!

October 18, 2011

Coffee by Numbers

I'm wearing 5 pretty hats today
I got 4 places to be, and 3 critical endeavors to save.
2 hands are not enough to balance all this stupid stuff
And 1 head can hardly run on 0 hours of sleep... you know that it's not fun.

But 6th Avenue is calling me away, it's 7 blocks from here
to 8 or 9 perfect cafes.
I guess I've drawn some kind of line
Gonna drop some balls, gonna make some time
My steps are steering that way now
It's not like I'm useful lately anyhow.

I'm gonna waste time and play
I'm gonna find the right cafe.
Gonna lay down my dismay and sit in just one chair all day:)
And wonder wonder wonder what it would take to stop
the world...
a spell
I feel dizzy and a bit unwell.

Just sit, just stare
There's no one in mortal peril if I
Stop the world awhile.
1 raw sugar please, I love your smile Babe
Just chill, just breathe
I'll take this one in a real cup please.

Gonna breathe deep 'til I'm dizzy
Stranger, you look pretty busy

Hey Love, you look like a zombie on parade
You got a cell phone sword and a briefcase barricade.
You can't taste your coffee when you drink so fast
Is that your 10th or 11th cup?
Stranger, look at me.
I never said hello and that's killing me.

I've seen you here 12 times
But I've been wrapped up in my rhymes
We've got places to be, people to see and doubtless ladders to climb
But wouldn't you wouldn't you love to stop
The world... with me?
Take ten minutes being just to be
We'll talk. Or not. You don't really need that extra shot
Just sit down, drink up, Darlin' you look simply thunderstruck
I'm new myself to this startled state of mental health
And I'm mad, I'm sore
So let's hold the phone, Babe, let's hit ignore
Might read or write or I might not do one worthwhile thing tonight....

there's much more, but honestly I got tired of typing. My brother sent me Marian Call's new CD: Something Fierce. It's amazing. You should buy it. :D 

October 5, 2011

Grow up, little heart.

Grow up, little heart...
You trust far too easily.

You think everyone wants what's best for you,
You think everyone wants to be close to you.

You are wrong, little heart.

Not everyone has your best in mind.
Some people take what they want and leave.
Some people get close, just to leave.
Some just make you go "pitter patter" with no intention of follow-through.

Grow up, little heart.
You trust far too easily.

September 21, 2011

my car fell in love.

Today when I drove to the bank, I parked my poor old Sarah next to a beat-up Ford. When I came out of the bank, I'm sure she had inched closer and there were little love-bubbles floating from her engine up to the sky.

My car fell in love.

And that's when it occurred to me that I need out of this town.

Not forever. Just a little while. Just long enough to experience a town that's never heard of Nicole Creighton, who grew up here, oh and  hasn't she been taking piano from the same person forever? Oh, that's the girl that's almost nineteen. She still lives at home and teaches music to kids she's known since they were born.

Oh, that girl. 

I want to know what it's like to follow my instincts. Maybe one day I will be driving home and I just won't stop. (But not with Sarah. She's a homebody and I know better.)

I want to know what it's like to explore a town I wasn't born in, and I want to experience homesickness. I want to name my own dog and write a blog post from my own cute little apartment.

I guess I just want to live a little?

This was going to be a poem, because poetry seems unavoidable for me lately, but I thought I'd just write. It turned out a little too nonfictional to be a poem, so I'm leaving as-is. But just know...

I have a thirst.

September 18, 2011

You Are Not Safe

Now that I'm here, staring it in the face,
I'm not sure I want You to use me in such a big way.
I know everyone gets scared
But I'm not ready to represent You, I'm not ready.

I can talk a lot of senseless words if You want
I can sing and raise my hands, immersed in You
But when it comes to really getting down to it,
I don't want to be transparent, 
I don't want to be see-through.

I have it all together, don't I?
It's impossible to loosen my good grip.
But with Your hands, Your beautiful hands
That wrote my name with Your blood,
You pry back my fingers to reveal my ugly.
The black parts of me that I don't want anyone to know.

I am a good girl, I tell myself.
I live my life staying away from bad stuff. It's safe.
But what I forgot when I gave You control,
Is that You are not safe. 
You are beginning to scratch away my layers and I am not ready, I am not ready.
I know that everyone gets scared,
But I'm not ready to represent You,
I'm not ready to surrender.
I'm not sure I want You to use me in such a big way.
Isn't there an opportunity...smaller?
Isn't there an alternative to being broken?

..I don't want to be transparent,
I don't want to be see-through.

September 17, 2011

i have nothing to say...

so here's a picture of my significant otter.

September 15, 2011

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

-having a 3-hour break with nothing to do but homework. seriously, who wants to do THAT?!
-hearing the girls at the table behind me gossip about a third girl's pregnancy. "A miscarriage really would be the best thing for her."
-wanting to stay in bed on my busiest day of the week (3 classes and 5+ hours at work).
-swearing speech teacher (origins of slang? really?)
-people expectantly standing before you and saying "table for two, please" as you blink and zone out.
-finding out when you call ahead to say you're gonna be late that the owner is there...

-speaking a tiny bit of ASL to someone who is not in my class!
-being the first one to my speech class and having time to collect my thoughts.
-hot chocolate with whipped cream and a shot of peppermint.
-me and Julio down by the schoolyard.
-4 days until Talk Like a Pirate Day!

September 14, 2011

What's Going On...

I wonder if I can slow down long enough to make sense of my crazy life for a moment!

Last night was my first time teaching choir. It was great fun and so far, I have a boistrous group of 10: 9 girls and 1 boy. They are all aged 5-7. We will be singing four songs by ourselves and three with the rest of the choirs. Be sure to mark your calendars for the homeschool choir concert on Tuesday, November 29th.

I got a score of a 94 on my first speech: it was a how-to speech, and I chose how to do a Newsprint Manicure. There were diverse topics chosen in my class, with everything from how to train your puppy to how to make a paper airplane to how to get a job to how to wrap a present! I did feel like my speech went well, and I had a built-in visual aid! Jenae accompanied me because she had nothing to do and I needed a model, so I promised her a free mani. My next speech is an informative and I think I will give it on the music of Hawaii, since I already know a lot about that--thanks to my world music midterm last year.

I'm still working about 20 hours a week. I work on Thursday nights, Fridays, and Saturday afternoons (specifically 10:30-2:30). Stop in if you ever feel like it. If I'm allowed to say so, I'm really glad we're back to our non-summer hours. I enjoy getting home before 11 PM :) and I'm almost done with my Rserving class (it's a responsible alcohol serving class I need to take to keep my job. I'm doing it online and I have 2 lessons and my final exam left. I'm hoping to finish the class today actually (if I ever get off facebook;).

My first French quiz is tomorrow! :S I feel like I am doing well in all my classes, but French especially... For those I haven't bragged to, I'm taking 20 credits this semester. They consist of the following: American Literature, Intro to ASL, Elementary French I, Beginning Guitar, Public Speaking, MS Excel (online. I hate this one.), private voice and private piano. My mom suggested I find out if I could a credit or two for being in the Christian Center Christmas musical but I decided I can't cough up the money to pay to get them as credits. The free tuition waiver only works for 14-18 credits plus fees, so even though my "tuition was free" (quote-unquote), I still ended up paying close to a thousand dollars between books, fees, and whatever else. Hopefully in the spring I will be able to take closer to eighteen and it will be a little cheaper for me - plus I won't be saving like crazy for the London trip over spring break!

I'm also getting ready for a small piano recital next week at the hospital. I'll be playing four or five songs, just for some closure before I start new ones. It's gonna be right in the lobby at 4 PM on Saturday, September 24th if you'd care to come.

I found a photo of the boy/kid version of me right now. Am I crazy?! (The short answer is probably yes...) But I'm really enjoying my life:)

What's going on with you right now??

September 12, 2011

Why I Won't Marry You.

It's really very silly; I love you too much.

I don't want you to know what size my jeans really are, or how much brown sugar I put on my oatmeal.

I don't want you to hear my sleepy-seal giggle when I get tired.

I don't want you to see how messy my room and bathroom actually get when my life gets going, or what my hair looks like when I go a day without washing it.

I don't want you to realize how many bad habits I have.

I don't want you to know that I can go weeks and months without praying or cracking open my Bible.

I don't want you to see me cry when something sends me over the edge - like burnt toast after a really hard week. 

I just don't want you to see me that way... I just don't want you to stop loving me.

I want things to stay the way they are. 

September 10, 2011

up and up

these lyrics are blessing my heart lately. I hope they do the same for you. 

yesterday is not quite what it could have been,
as were most of all the days before.
but i swear today, with every breath i'm breathing in
i'll be trying to make it so much more.

'cause it seems i get so hung up on 
the history of what's gone wrong. 
and the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see,
but i'm finally catching onto it
yeah the past  is just a conduit.
and the light there at the end is where i'll be

'cause i'm on the up and up,
i'm on the up and up
and i haven't given up,
given up on what i know i'm capable of
'cause i'm on the up and up,
yeah there's nothing left to prove.
'cause i'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
a better version of me for you.

to be prosperous would not require much of me
you see, contentment is the one thing it entails.
to be content with where i am, and getting where i need to be
i'm moving past the past where i have failed!

but i'm finally catching onto it
yeah, the past is just a conduit
and right there at the end is where i'll be

'cause i'm on the up and up,
i'm on the up and up.
and i haven't given up,
given up on what i've gained from love
'cause i'm on the up and up,
yeah there's nothing left to prove.
'cause i'm just trying to be a better version of me for you,
a better version of me for you.

you never cease to supply me
with what i need for a good life
so when i'm down, i'll hold my head up high
'cause you're the reason why i'm on the up and up

~Relient K 

September 8, 2011

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

-Not having hot water this morning! Brrrr!
-Watching a fat man imitate a seal on 22 Words (I'm not sure if the fact that I watched it is more awkward, or if it's the fact that I found it absolutely hilarious and watched it over again. More than once.)
-The fact that I haven't updated my blog pretty much all summer. 
-Watching a man chase his toddler all the way outside. A parent should never have to chase their kid.. (says the one who isn't a parent. ha.) 
-Not really having any homework.

- Russell buying me a steak ^_^
- Study buddy plans. 
- Lizzy telling Aletha that she remembers [Auntie Nicole], very loves her, and chooses her to be her friend. 
- Closing at eight instead of nine. <3 
- Having a really, really good day.

July 26, 2011

The Real To-Do List

Smile at strangers.
Keep learning.
Notice kindness.
Eat ice cream.
Count your blessings.
Love some more.

July 25, 2011

"everyone will be looking at my feet..."

I shut my toe in a door today.

I have really strong toenails, and it hurt enough to cripple my mind so that I forgot every swear word I know - I just knew it hurt. But when blood started to seep out of my toe onto my flip flop, I got a little scared. I thought I was home alone, and this scared me too, but when I looked out the window I saw Jason's car. I limped up to his room, crying softly, and told him what happened.

"I shut my toe in the door," I murmured. "It's bleeding and I don't know what to do."

He hugged me. "It'll be okay," he said.

I raised my voice a little bit. "It won't be okay! What if it falls off?!"

"It probably won't."

For some reason, this answer frustrated me. I am not a best-case scenario person. I like to know the worst that could happen so that when it doesn't, I feel better. I wrenched myself out of his embrace and realized that I wouldn't feel better until I fully expressed my emotions in the moment. So I started yelling, and with the yelling I started crying harder.

"I just wanted to go to the gym," I garbled loudly. "My intentions were completely innocent! I JUST WANTED TO RUN A FEW MILES! What if my toenail turns horribly ugly? I HAVE A WEDDING IN FOUR WEEKS!"

Jason helped me into my room and I sat on the edge of my bed, still sobbing and shouting gibberish.

"Even if it does, no one will be looking at your feet," he offered.

"YES. THEY WILL." (I say that just because I am the type of person that goes to a wedding and examines everyone's feet. I realize probably no one else in the whole world does this.)

By this time, my dad was coming up the stairs. I guess he was out mowing the lawn and heard me loudly expressing my displeasure about my day, and it concerned him. After Jason and I pooled our efforts to tell him what happened, since I was still very upset and not a good storyteller, my dad felt around on my toe to make sure it wasn't broken. At least I think that's what he was doing. Then he sent Jason to get some Band-Aids, wrapped my toe tightly, and said there is a good chance it will be fine.

I gave up on going to the gym for several reasons - the first being that I was still crying for a long time after this happened, and I didn't feel that I should be driving; the second being that a half-hour had gone by and I wouldn't have had time to sufficiently work out before I had to to go to work, and the third being that I just wanted to lay around and feel sorry for myself for awhile. So I did. I cuddled my body pillow and watched Monk and ate some dark chocolate. But it didn't really help me feel better. I actually still don't really feel better.

The point I guess I am trying to make is that even when we slam our big toes in big mean doors, we have to just wrap them, cry for awhile, wash our faces and go to work. Life goes on.

Also, I hate irony.

What's Going On...

Well. I'm working 30 hour weeks, next week I start training as a server (yes! XD), I'm working out everyday to get ready for Jill's wedding, and I'm so very behind in my Bible reading. For awhile, I tried doing it at night after I got home from work, but the past few nights have been so late that when I get home I just fall into bed and sleep. Yesterday I left the house in tears because my room was a mess and I couldn't find my keys... I was just all-around stressed. When I got home around 1:30 AM, I found a clean room with a fixed bed. <3 my mom is the best, I will just say that. 

So where will you find me today? I will spend my early afternoon at home, working on French (I'm getting a jump start for  my class in the fall), reading my Bible, practicing voice and piano, and cleaning up a bit. Then I'll head off to the Summit to work out hard, shower, and then to work at 5! I'm guessing work will tire me out today, so I'll probably head home right after - and I should be back about 10:30. I may have to hit up City Brew today. This is basically what my life consists of. *shrug* 

However, in other news: beginning in the fall, I will be directing the homeschool junior choir (ages 5-7)! I'm so excited for this opportunity; it works perfectly with my schedule, plus I have been waiting for this opportunity foreeeevvvverrrr!!! (also, a little spending money would be nice. *wink*) I love the junior choir. This year is just going to be so much fun. 

I had better go get started on my day. It's almost noon, and I'm not technically out of bed yet... Be blessed in the LORD today :) 

P.S., to see some pretty photos of me, go here. 

July 11, 2011

a man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - herb caen

I have not blogged in quite some time, for the simple reason that I haven't been doing much. I work about 35 hours a week (with the exception of this week, I have 19) and when I'm not working, I'm usually hanging out with friends or at home, desperately trying to clean my room. It somehow gets messier the less I am there. Also, I hate irony.

Anywhom, the purpose of this post specifically is to share with you my wisdom teeth videos (I think every Internet-loving, uneasily embarrassed American teenager uploads at least one video of their post-wisdom teeth extraction onto facebook or some other social network. I have two because the doctor came in at the end of the first one). It is surprising how unmiserable I feel, since I just had it done this morning - and I have noticed, in the last several hours especially, I have become very chatty and will not leave my mother's side. Also, I only had 3 teeth to be extracted, because I am conveniently missing one! So even now, my swelling is uneven. I will also try to provide commentary at the end of the post on some of the things I remember saying that didn't get recorded. (The camera ran out of memory. Sigh.)

My mom told me later I was concerned about how I got into the recovery room. This is actually something I remember thinking about before I even went under, because I noticed the chair had no wheels... And then later on, in the recovery room, I double-checked with my mom to make sure they didn't take my pants off. Surgery phobia. When the nurse finally came in and I asked her, she told me I ran, and I said, "really?! that's dangerous!" and then she smiled and said no, not really, and that I came in a wheelchair. I also informed my mom that I wanted a boyfriend, and she said, "really, why?" and I replied that I wanted someone to cuddle with me post-surgery. "well, what about me?!" (mom was a little indignant.) I told her, with a big smile, that she was adequate.. :) 

June 9, 2011

Prelude III by Arletta O'Hearn

Hey guys! I recorded this today... it took so many tries. I kept saying, "one more, one more." There was this spot where I continually messed up every single time!! This isn't even the best recording I got but it was the first one I finished. Enjoy!!

June 8, 2011

Guess what came to my door yesterday...

why... it's a large box! 

and inside -- another box!!

what's in THIS box? 

oh my gosh!! it's Kurt!! (not terribly original... short for Kurzweil... but still cute I think.)

let's get you out of there, Kurt. 


and look at the mess I made.... 

June 1, 2011

my first (or second) youtube video...

May 24, 2011

words are just fun to say.

Check my Bucket List! Something has been crossed off. This morning I drove into town at 8:00 for my appointment at Salon Jazlin--perrrrrrmmmmm! I'm very nervous about doing permanent things to my hair, so every few days up until the appointment I would freak out a little bit, and then relax and be excited. Even this morning, as she was rolling the curls, I thought, I wonder if it's too late to back out. But I fully trust Sarah and her hair capabilities and my perm turned out really cute. She said it will relax even more in anywhere from 2 days to a week. (I must admit... $75 was kind of a lot to spend on a bucket list item, but hopefully it will make my summer a lot less painful. Not like, "ew! I wanna jump in the water but my hair will get all nasty and wavy! :( " )

I don't remember if it's on my Bucket List or not, but BKE jeans have also been acquired. They are at Buckle now, waiting to be hemmed. I get to take them home for good on Thursday. ^_^ I also somehow bought a pair of capris--not quite sure how that happened. However, they are on layaway, so I won't have them around for about 50 days. It probably would have been more logical to put the long pants on layaway, and get the summer ones NOW... hmm. Hindsight is 20/20. (by the way, those are my exact jeans up there. They are BKE Rachel.)

May 19, 2011

Someone Who.

This is just some stuff I was writing in my journal the other night. Part of me thought it was a little too personal to put on the Internet, but the other part thought... heck, the other part didn't think.  So this is how it began--melancholy Nicole:

I really want a someone.
 I want to get those butterflies I used to get.
I want a snuggle-someone who is ok with me when I'm sad and wants to be with me no matter what.
 Someone who wants to take walks and just drive until there is nothing we recognize in our rearview.
Who will hold me and not always feel like we need to talk but just be content to be together sometimes, and take me on adventures. Just random adventures.
 [at this point, it became a game with me and everyone in the car to come up with cute personality traits of the guy I wanna marry] In no particular order: Someone who loves meh.
Someone who knows my comfort food and gets it for me when I'm having a bad day.
Someone who kisses me in the middle of sentence.
Someone who knows all my dreams and secrets.
Someone who knows my number one... my list.
Someone who will hold me all night long.
Someone who can tell what I'm thinking just by looking at my eyes, even if I'm trying to hide my feelings.
Someone who's HAWT! (Millie came up with this one. I remember.)
Someone who plays with my hair.<3
Someone who can rap.
Someone who can make dayng good coffee (another Millie one)
Someone who can stand up for himself.
Someone who can walk alone.
Someone who looks good shirtless.
Someone who likes to show me off.
Someone who loves Jesus.
Someone who pushes me to be better.
Someone who loves even my imperfections.
Someone who flirts even after we're married.
Someone who actually has an opinion.
Someone who can sing me to sleep.
Someone who puts the toilet seat down! (Another Millie, but that is important)
Someone who can cook.
Someone who will snake the drain for me. [is this the correct terminology? even being a plumber's daughter, I don't know.]
Someone who will stalk me.
Someone who thinks I have a cute butt.
Someone who waited for me.
Someone who lets me be alone when I need it.
Someone who makes my heart go pitter-patter.
Someone who is my grace gift.
Someone who is the best thing that's ever been mine.
Someone who lets me sit in the middle front seat when we go places.
Someone who laughs at my jokes, even when I'm not funny.
Someone who won't ever give up on me, even when I'm being impossible. Especially when I'm being impossible.
Someone who is really upfront and honest.
Someone who lets me talk when I need to work through my problems.
Someone who leaves me little love-notes for not much reason (or a lot of reason. obviously).
Someone who can make me late for work because I won't want to leave.
Someone who.... <3

April 15, 2011

What's Going On...

Good morning, Friday! How beautiful you are.

I always wake up at 6:30 on Fridays when I would normally be getting up, but then I check the time, blissfully roll over and fall back asleep. I love having a day to sleep in. However, those are the days I need to get completely motivated to do homework - especially since I have a busy weekend coming up and will probably start working a little more next week. (I worked just about eight hours this week, and actually found the 3-4 hour shift during dinnertime is just the right amount. Once it gets people and you have a steady stream of people in the restaurant, the time just flies by.)

I have nine music theory assignments to preferably get done today. I wrote out my to-do list and interspersed the assignments amongst everything else I need to do. I think that is the best way to get the most done, as opposed to sitting down for a chunk of time and saying, "ok, I'm going to do all of these right now." (Insert: I can't wait to be done with that class. Four weeks left!!)

I'm going to two plays this weekend. The homeschool play, La Redemption, I'm going to tomorrow and I'm going to take Brittany after a looooong-overdue Twisted Bliss date. Then on Sunday, my mom is taking me to the BPCT play, The Nifty Fifties. I'm also looking forward to that one. I really enjoy going to plays, almost as much as being in them.

I think I'm a creature of habit. That must be why it's so hard for me to stop having coffee :(

April 13, 2011

The Best Kind of Different

Normally, I would never be sitting at my kitchen table at 12:51 PM on a Wednesday afternoon, blogging and munching on tuna salad. Today is not normal :) I only had one class this morning and a piano lesson, so I came home right after. It was a sunny drive. Sunny with good music. Now I have about three hours to do as much homework as I can, and then I am leaving for my second day of work. I'm actually pretty excited. Last night was fun (albeit, slightly stressful) but I'm excited to get even faster and better at what I have learned.

This is a short post, but I don't have a lot of time. I'm leaving in about three hours. So, have a wonderful, sunny day, and come eat dinner at Sizzler! :)

April 10, 2011


I have a new job. I will henceforth be working at Sizzler Restaurant, (I believe) as a salad bar attendant! (P.S. the "I believe" was for the salad bar attendant part. Not the Sizzler part.) I officially "start" on Tuesday, but I had orientation today. Basically it consisted of reading the employee handbook which told me not to make racist remarks and to call 911 if there is a fire. There was some other stuff in there, but it was all similar to that. I also got to sign my name quite a few times, promising to be a good person, not to steal food or company time, and that I can legally work in the United States.

I also found out that the dress code is pretty strict, so after orientation was over, I went out to the car and called my mom to see if she wanted to help me go shopping. We ended up meeting at the mall and I purchased some Dansko's (honestly, I do not think they are that cute... I don't see what all the hype is for except that they are SUPER comfy) and a stiff, annoyingly scratchy white button-down blouse. It wasn't quite the right size but it was seriously all we could find. Then I went to Claire's and bought a few pairs of pretty stud earrings (as far as I can tell, I'm not allowed to wear dangly earrings at all): I bought a pair of really pretty pearl studs, sparkly diamond-ish studs, and some teeny little flowers. The pearls are my favorite, though. I have been wanting some like that for a while. I also got a couple hair flowers just for fun.

My mom took me to Twisted Bliss after that. Twisted Bliss is easily within walking distance of Sizzler. This is not a good thing, people. :P Anywhom, I had delicious yogurt -- and way more than I intended, because the handle to one got stuck!! (I'm serious, by the way. This is not an excuse for how much yogurt I ate.)

And now I am at home, cranking out music theory and math homework like a crazy woman. I don't even know why I'm blogging right now -- I just felt it was fair that you know what I'm up to. (Although, if you follow me on twitter, *cough cough* you would already know a lot of this stuff.) 

P.S. I have to learn to tie a tie. I honestly never expected to know how to do that in my lifetime. (*cough* another something you would know if you followed me on twitter)

Anywhom, a job will really tie me down... but I am looking forward to having a regular paycheck, plus maybe a little spending money. Although I spend my money anyway. You can possibly expect a new post on Tuesday or Wednesday night, all about my new experiences :)

March 28, 2011

Spring Break: Days Dos & Tres

I didn't blog about spring break yesterday or on Saturday, because I was too busy obsessing over shoes, but I have *sort of* been keeping up with my project goals. On Saturday I cleaned out my dresser: this is the bottom drawer of my dresser. I don't even wear *any* of those jeans. My ambition is to make a quilt out of all of them, but I think I've been saying I would do that for about three years... one of these years, I will really get around to it. The jeans I do wear are all in the closet. (long sigh) I think the closet is actually my tomorrow project.

This basket full of clothes it what I pulled out of my dresser that I never wear. I'm giving some of the cute stuff  to my nieces (by "the cute stuff" I mean the stuff they will like and wear) and the rest to Salvation Army. I sometimes get like loser's remorse or something and second guess everything I give away. I know I haven't worn that tank top in eight months, but what if I need it?! or how about this: hmmm, I forgot I had this shirt. I'd better keep it. You can never have too many pajama T-shirts! Well I think I did okay this time. I kept a few tees around, just in case, and gave the rest away. *looks down at torso* oh, I'm wearing one. ^_^

And here is the bookcase after a couple of hours of cleaning it out yesterday, and believe me -- my room was clean before I started. That second shelf from the bottom, which is now holding DVD's, was pretty much stuffed randomly with notebooks and papers and I don't even know what else. I sent three stacks of books downstairs that had to do with school. I'm telling you, it's so nice to be de-cluttering my life, as non-fun as it is. But at least I'm not trying to do it all at once. 

Today's project is the corner by the window. There's a big basket of yarn and there is basically a bunch of random junk that I don't have a place for. So tell me, is it wrong to throw away all my graduation cards? What about the ones that have literally almost no writing in them? I am not sure if I want to be sentimental on this, or if I just want to be like "the heck with it!" and toss them all. *sigh* decisions. 

I hope everyone has a great Monday!

March 27, 2011

My Favorite Summer Shoes

I'm so bummed that this whole "quest for white wedges" thing is not working out. I came so close to getting a pair at Payless this afternoon -- I saw the ones I wanted but they only had my size in black, so I asked the cashier if she had a 5 1/2 in white. They didn't, and she even called two other stores to see if they did.


So I'm back to where I started, and this is where I find pictures on the Internet of whatever I'm looking for and I go, "WHY CAN'T IT JUST BE EASY?!" Anyway, this incident has fueled my summer shoe obsession and I have picked out a few of my favorites to share with you. From what I can see, slingbacks, wedges, and really flat sandals are all in this year.

This is the shoe I wanted to buy today. It was cute in black, but white wedges are just so summery and this shoe was perfect. When I found out they didn't have my size, I got sulky and lost my taste for shopping.
I think this shoe is really cute, although it's only available in black. I found it at, although I didn't see it in-store when I was there today (I'm assuming this shoe would not come small enough for me). 
A little on the pricier side, I love the mix of sparkle and sweet in these white wedges from Buckle. Maybe someday when I have $50.00 to spare, I will splurge on a pair of Buckle shoes. 
I like this almost as well as the first pair, from Payless. They're at JC Penney, which I didn't stop at today, but I might take a quick peek tomorrow and see if they have this shoe out. I will try it on. Possibly.
Another favorite summer shoe... FLIP FLOPS. *love* I have four pairs of flip flops, but you probably can't have too many. Here is a shiny pair from Buckle that I think I briefly saw today.
I think this flower sandal from Maurice's is cute in every available color! 
K, Summer. GET HERE! :) 

(P.S. @theshoesthatareavoidingme... I will win. I will find you, and I will win.)

March 25, 2011

Spring Break: Day Uno.

I know I already posted today -- BUT -- I wanted to share how my first day of spring break went.

The first thing I did was chat with Alexa, who is having way too much fun in Italy. I made her promise to bring me an Italian boyfriend, and that we would meet for coffee when she came back.

The second thing I did was pilates, as mentioned earlier. I am not sure why I chose Super Slim Down... except that it's easy. Maybe too easy. It's so repetitive :( but it's nice if you're not wanting to do a workout that gets you sweaty or tired.

The third thing I did was clean out my bathroom. And I mean I spent like a couple of hours cleaning it out. I sorted things and threw stuff away and threw away empty bottles and finally VACUUMED. Okay, understand this: anytime you want to vacuum something in this house, you might as well vacuum all of it, because it's a ginormous pain to lug that vacuum all over the place. (so I did my bedroom while I had it upstairs. I'm prone to be selfish with my cleaning. I only volunteer to clean the places I actually spend a lot of time in.) And THIS is how much trash I threw away (most of it was empty bottles from beneath the sink), although a little bit of it is from my bedroom:

I don't even know what project to tackle tomorrow ;) oh! and as promised, my closet decor: 

The Wedding Crasher!

I'm going to be in a wedding in August. I'm so excited. My friend Jill (the bride-to-be) called me around Christmastime, and I hadn't heard from her in a long time. After playing phone tag for an entire morning, here is how our conversation went down:

J: oh hey Nicole! how are you!

N: pretty good, *makes small talk*

J: oh good. I was just calling because I have my little to-do list here, and I needed to call all my bridesmaids to make sure they knew they would be bridesmaids.

N: mm, that's nice....... wait, ME!?

Here is the dress that, supposedly, I will be wearing, except in dark blue (NOT navy, Jilly insists). I just printed out three photos of this dress.. one for my journal, one for my closet, and one for *gulp* the refrigerator. It might work. We'll see.

On the other hand, today officially begins my spring break (LIKE A NINJA. I'm sorry. I have been saying that to Jason all morning. It goes with everything. "Print, printer! LIKE A NINJA!") and I have sort of a spring break bucket list, although most of my time today will be spent on Bible and music theory. blahhhhh. Not blahhhh to the Bible, but blahhhh to the music theory. Here is my spring break bucket/to-do list.

1. Starting Monday, I have to run until I think I'm going to die. I'm training for Bloomsday, so that's why. Annnnd... I never really train when I'm at the Summit, so I am not sure what's up with that. Anywhom. It's going to hurt so bad. :( But for today, I will be doing gentle yoga. TY Friday. 

2. I'll be doing a one-or-possibly-two day juice fast. I'm hesitant to do it any longer because I don't have a real juicer... but I'll be drinking things like water and V-8 and fruit juice and stuff. Looking forward to it. :)

3. I will be hanging out with Linsey! I'm soooo excited. We're going to watch Beauty and the Beast and and and hang out and talk and we've never hung out before and ohmygosh I'm so excited. 

4. I'm going to the dentist. Not so much a happy occurance, but I want a referral to get my wisdom teeth pulled. Also, I REALLLLLLLY want Dr. Hoag to pull my wisdom teeth, if he does that sort of thing. Dr. Hoag did my implant, and he was great. And funny. I remember him being funny even when I was high. (Come to think of it... maybe that's why I liked him so much...)

5. I'll probably be going to an optometrist too :( I have not had great luck with optometrists, so if you know of a good one, let me know!!

6. I'm going to finish reading Airs Above the Ground. Remember that Mary Stewart book I raved about? Over Christmas break? Yeahhh. I'm in chapter 11. *sigh* I'm such a bad reader. I just don't find the time for it and then by the time I get home from school I'm a zombie that looks like this: 
So that, in a nutshell, is why I never read.

7. Lost: Season 2. Yep, I'm starting it. 

8. Hanging out. Yep. If you want to hang out over spring break, text or call me :)

March 21, 2011

Mushrooms With Faces. Enough Said.

I always have the best of intentions.

On the drive home from BSF or school or piano lessons or wherever I happen to be coming home from, I always think, okay, I'm not going to get on the computer because I have stuff to do.

So guess what is the first thing I do when I get home! yeah.

And this is what I have been doing.
This is a journal. After I saw it I was all, "I have to have this." And then I walked by my journal shelf and thought about how many I have and how I will probably always have empty journals until I die, no matter how much I write, because I am constantly falling in love with journals like this! sigh.
This is called the "Peter Silver Tail Ring". I am not sure how much I would wear it because it's so unique, but... I really enjoy unique things. Besides, it's ModCloth. 
For Richer or Porcini. Umm, yeah. Mushrooms with faces. Enough said.
Haha, what? It's an octopus to wear on your wrist! How cool is THAT!
YES is all I have to say about this necklace.
I'd be more likely to wear a rabbit ring like this.
oh my gosh, with every photo I post I just want to hug everything I see even more. Maybe it's because yesterday I got to see Megan's ModCloth dress, and I have been coveting ever since. I'm an enveloper, so I'll have to start one for that. 
yes please. 

March 19, 2011

I wanted the opposite of this.

Technology punches me in the face sometimes. 

I always have these great plans for Saturdays, since I usually have piano or voice lessons or both. My plans are something like this: 
1) I will wake up nice and early and read my Bible and be effortlessly beautiful.
2) I will go to my voice lesson and be energetic and amazing and basically be better than I've ever been before.
3) I will go to the Summit for a fan-freaking-tabulous workout, and burn like 800 calories and feel skinny because I am skinny, world!!!
4) I will shower after my workout feeling like a superhero.
5) I will go to City Brew and order some coffee, do all my homework, maybe watch a movie, and save the world. 'Cause I'm a superhero.
6) I will go home feeling even awesomer than I have felt all day because not only did I work out like a NINJA, but I got all my homework done so I can spend my Sunday layin' around and doing awesome things like not homework.

However. Here is how it seems to really work:
1) I wake up at 6:30 to an annoying alarm. Roll over, groan, and reset it for 7:30.
2) I don't read my Bible because I feel like I'm too sleepy to retain any biblical knowledge, and I'm certainly too tired to seek the Lord. Sheesh.
3) I watch two episodes of the Cosby Show, excusing myself because I'm too tired to read the Bible. And while I am watching, I'm getting all my homework together for the afternoon.
4) I stumble downstairs for my piano lesson at 9:00. I tell my teacher I haven't had time to practice (which is partly true), but it was mostly laziness.
5) I put on a little makeup to feel prettier. My hair feels disgusting from not washing it yet today, but I don't want to shower because I'm going to the Summit later.
6) I go to my voice lesson and have to clench my teeth to fight back yawns, every five minutes.
7) I get gas in the most roundabout way ever. If someone was tailing me, I would have lost them.
8) I go to the Summit, prepared to be amazing and redeem my day. Instead, I worked out on the Stairmaster for 20 minutes, decided I was tired, and did a bunch of crunches. Then I was done. It was sooo not stellar.
9) I take my time showering. I'm cold, so I stand in the stream with the water as hot as it will go, trying to get warm.
10) I go to City Brew and order 20 oz. of coffee. As soon as I start to drink it, I realize how fat I am being. 16. GET 16 NEXT TIME.
11) I try to connect to the Internet.
12) It doesn't work, so I reboot my computer.

.... 4 or 5 times.
13) This is where things start getting funny, as long as you're not me. I checked for other networks and I connected to a different one (from which I am blogging right now), but facebook was blocked. What the heck, world?! I can't even connect to City Brew's network from City Brew, so I have to use a different one where apparently people hate social networking?! siiiiiighhh. So that puts us where we are right now.

Comparing my two lists makes me want to cry.

March 18, 2011

Stuff I Don't Understand

I don't understand  why "guess what?" is technically a question. To me, it is read as, "guess what!" which is clearly a command.

I don't understand why braces work. It seems like they would just screw up your teeth even more.

I don't understand why contact lenses almost always stay where they're supposed to. Why don't they get lost in your eye more often?

I don't understand how people make friends. Why do personalities "click"? Why do they not?

I don't understand black olives.

I also don't understand tomatoes.

Or mushrooms.

I don't understand why guys have longer eyelashes than girls.

I don't understand salvation. I mean, really, who can?

I don't understand hair. Why do some people have curly hair? Or straight hair? or brown or black or blonde?

I don't understand where ideas come from.

I don't understand music. Pretty sure it is magic.

I don't understand the concept of infinity.

I don't understand what is so great about alcohol. Seems kinda silly to me.

I don't understand why we paint our nails. Who was the first person that thought, "hey, I'm gonna get some sticky, colored paint and put it on these hard, flesh-colored things I have on my fingers! That will be cool!"?

I don't understand how the Internet works. O.o

I don't understand where dreams go.

I don't understand "talents".'

I guess I don't understand a lot of things (:

March 16, 2011

how do I do this much stuff????

If you've never read Hyperbole and a Half, you should really consider it. She writes hilarious stories from her daily experiences and childhood memories, and then illustrates them with--get this--MS paint. It is just great. Here is one of her illustrations that I found this morning, while I was putting off getting ready for school:

Story of my life! Except I'm not really cool enough to draw dinosaurs, but pretty much everything else matches exactly.

Now I'm going to stop putting off getting ready for school and actually get ready for school. 

UPDATE: I forgot to mention, her blog does contain some obscene language. I do not promote that in any way.