January 26, 2011

Open to the Possibilities I Ignored

I'm stuck.

Not on a math problem... not in a snow bank. Not even (as was the dilemma of Cinderella in Into the Woods) in a gooey trap set for me by the prince. (Good song by the way. If you're in a Broadwayish sort of mood you can listen here.)

I'm stuck in life. I don't even know what I'm doing.

Maybe it's my three-hour break between classes that makes me feel completely useless. Maybe because people take for granted that I'm just always in the same place, waiting. That is how it feels in my life, too. Just always in the same place. Always waiting.

I was playing the piano a bit ago and the thought crossed my mind. What am I doing with my life? I often have conversations with myself while I'm playing, so it wasn't a shock or anything, but it rather depressed me. I'm not really doing... well... anything. I'm not changing anyone's life. I'm not changing my own life. More than half the time, I don't even feel like I'm being a good friend. Or a good person.

I guess I will just stay stuck for awhile, with the comforting thought that God has an ingenious plan for my life... and as my wise dad often says... "wait awhile and just be open."

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday.  - Winnie-the-Pooh

January 14, 2011

coley's lovelist

10 things that make me really happy. . . 

10. Pilot Gel Pens.
oh my gosh. Can I get an amen for color, folks?! :D 

9. herbal essences.
They don't make my favorite anymore :( 
But now I use the purple kind. 

8. hugs. of course.
haha, this is me. awww.

7. strawberries.
underrated little gems, aren't they? I'll take mine just like that ^ (teehee!). 
and here's another just 'cuz it's cute. Gotta love Google.

6. anything that takes place at a salon. 
Whether it be a wash and cut, a trim, a cut and style, a mani, a pedi, a massage, a facial, a perm... whatever you fancy! But I feel like a queen when I get to go to a salon. 

5. brand-spankin'-new Silvers.
I love me some new silvers. It's my maybe-twice-a-year treat to myself. But I haven't bought any this year so far... ;)

4. writing.
I don't aspire to be a writer. I don't even think I'm what most people would call a good writer. But I do love it, and it does make me happy.

3. singing.
Believe it or not... I'm still a little shy about my voice. But I could sing all day and all night. 

2. Creation Fest.
you won't know until you go.
<3 Enumclaw, WA

1. dreams.
It took me a long time to think of this one, but dreams really do make me happy. And I'm not just talking about life aspirations or whatever, I mean dreams that occur while you're sleeping. My favorites are the ones that are so good, you think they are real. (But that doesn't feel so amazing once you wake up, unfortunately.) I try to write all the best ones in my journal, and when I go back two years later and read them, it's like dreaming it all over again. :) 

So let me just end this post with a question.

January 13, 2011

coley's havelist

In my last post, I told you about ten things I wish I had. In the spirit of contentment, this post will be of a "count your blessings" nature, in which I will tell you about ten things I have that I love.

 10. hair color.
not too light, not too dark... for now, I won't need to spend a penny on dye! (and, like my email address so clearly states... everyone loves blondes. ;)

9. pink fergalicious high heels.
they are actually splendidly comfortable. 

8. Hoodie collection.
it's just on this side of impressive :)

7. membership to the Summit.
thanks to my mom, who works at KRMC now. :) 

6. a mom and a dad that are still married (and like it that way).

5. friends that help me grow in God, friends that love me. friends that make me laugh. friends that hold me up when life is rough.

4. a beautiful smile. finally.
[after rubber bands, a palate expander, two sets of braces, a dental implant, and countless retainers... I got it. I finally got it.]

3. a sense of humor. 
though I go overboard occasionally, I love to make people laugh!!

2. music.
if it were easy, they'd call it [insert something clever]

1. Gladdening Light.
why don't they get it? 
You are my Joy. 

January 10, 2011

coley's wishlist

it's a quiet morning here at the Creighton house... (Jason hasn't even left his room so far today) so I thought I'd share with you a few of my covets. ;)

one or two bright pairs of Converse.
I'm stuck on the color decision though... I know I don't want black, or grey, or pretty much any other neutral color. Converse are too much fun to be basic!! and low-tops are a must.

not-so-practical sunglasses.
I kinda have the same dilemma with sunglasses that I have with hats. I search and search, but can't find a good pair. Maybe this will be the year!

BKE jeans.
Not gonna make a habit of these unless I suddenly inherit a lot of money. Silvers are my first love, but I know from experience... BKE's look so good. :) 

Panda hat.
I can't believe I don't own one of these!!!!

Blackberry Curve.
when will our contract end?! hahaha

straight sexy hair.
Love these products. If only they didn't cost an arm and a leg, because I only have two of each.

and along that same line... a salon quality straightener.
This pink flat iron can be found at beautychoice.com for a mere $145.00... and free shipping in the US! what a steal. c'mon. :) 

mini netbook :) 
this would be so nice for school. my laptop weighs like a hundred pounds. probably wouldn't go with one as teeny as that, ^ though. 

and LAST.. but CERTAINLY not least... white wedges!
can anyone say summer?! (I feel like I should have one more wish on here... because that was only 9. And 10 is simply a superior number. So let me think for a minute and I'll see if I can come up with anything else.)

*thinks... thinks... thinks*
number 10: a soft perm.
just for a little change. :) 

January 9, 2011

that's when I'll knock knock on your front door.

Today was brilliant. 

After church my mom and I stopped for lattes at Daily Brew, our latest Sunday afternoon tradition (well.. I got a latte... she had chai.) and instead of my usual white chocolate macademia nut, I tried chocolate chip cookie dough... which was good. But I have yet to find something good enough to replace my favorite. Although white chocolate caramel is really good too. So is white chocolate peppermint. Okay, pretty much anything with white chocolate is good. That's beside the point. Anyway, taste doesn't matter too much because when I get two shots of espresso in my body, good things happen.

Nathanael texted me at like 1:13 and said everyone was meeting at Subway in Wal-Mart at 2. I was with my mom (in case you didn't catch that in the previous paragraph) and we were almost home, so we just figured we'd go home, I could get the stuff I needed and take the junker to town so I wouldn't be at anyone's mercy. I grabbed my iPod and my latte and my big, fluffy winter coat that reminds me of a burnt marshmallow, and left for town. Millie was the only one there when I got there and gradually more and more of our group showed up... I got my usual sandwich. I almost got brave and tried the onion chicken teriyaki whatever... but something about that sandwich just seems unsafe to me.

After we all hung out for awhile, John left 'cause he's lame or something(shrug), and we all walked over to Sportsman where we just wandered and commented on everything we saw (and Moriah and I tried to trail Nathanael as if we were the ghosts in Super Mario Bros... and it was hard. I hate the ghosts. That is like the main reason I will not play.) and tried on hats. Randy, who is brutally honest, told us whether the hats looked good or not... I tried on a bright purple beanie and he told me, "that hat says, 'I'm a diva. Get out of my way.' " And since Randy is so honest, I knew when I tried on a hat and he shouted "YES!", that it was the one. I knew before I even put it on, though. If you know me well, or even at all, you probably know I don't do hats... they don't like my face, they don't like my head or my hair or anything about me. So my life's quest has been to find a hat I want to wear. Usually I dread hat weather. Well, this hat was definitely the one. I bought it and have been happy ever since. (a picture will probably come someday... :)An executive decision was made after that to go to this random basketball at Kalispell Middle School. I did not contribute much to the decision... The ride was way squished because I'm spoiled and didn't want to drive there, so we all went in Nathanael's truck and I had to squeeze on Millie's lap. Nathanael's truck is not big, people. My head was kinda sideways and like on the ceiling.

I ended up knowing (at least vaguely) several people that were playing. It seemed to be a city league or something. And the beautiful Ashleigh and I texted each other from two seats away, so that was entertaining! When the game was over, Nathanael suggested Twisted Bliss. We always seem to end up there. They had a lot of fruit flavors so I loaded up on those--I had lemon, pomegranate raspberry, strawberry, and mango. The lemon and strawberry were definitely the best. I tend to like the yogurts better than the sorbets. I realized after I had paid for my yogurt that they had coconut, AND that I had a gift card from Nik. :( and then I was a sad panda. We hung out at Twisted Bliss for about 45ish minutes and then the Proberts left for church and Millie and I hugged Randall goodbye a couple of times. Millie walked with me over to Wal-Mart and I bought some foundation and then we parted ways.

I listened to Owl City on the way home.

To quote the last words of Cloverfield, only not so depressingly... "I had a great day." 

January 8, 2011

climb until the sky doesn't exist anymore..

I'm on that high.

You know what I'm talking about.

It's the "new notebook/new pencils/new pens/new anythingitdoesn'treallymatter" high.

It'll wear off about a week after school starts. For now, just let me enjoy my high. In the same color of life, here is my new schedule:

9:00-9:50 math
9:50-1:00 nothing
1:00-1:50 American History (oh help.)
2:00-3:50 music theory II
4:00-6:50...nothing... but I have plans. :D
6:55-like 9:00 BSF

9:00-9:50 math
9:50-1:00 nothing
1:00-1:50 history
2:30-3:30 zumba
and after zumba I have to rush right home for piano lessons at 4:30!

1:00-1:50 history
2:00-3:50 aural perception II
then more piano lessons at 4:30....

9:00-9:50 math
9:50-1:00 nothing. again. don't worry, I'll usefully use all my 'nothing time.'
1:00-1:50 history (yeah... it's Monday - Thursday)
2:30-3:30 zumba
4:00-5:30 piano lessons
6:00-9:00 The Truth Project

10:00-11:00 MY piano lesson. MINE. :)
1:00-1:30 someone else's piano lesson...
Yup, I was lucky again to have no class on Fridays. I'm pretty sure that means I win. ;)

I'm actually only taking 4 classes at FVCC. the other credits are zumba, which is at KAC, and then applied music for voice and piano. I'm so excited to take music lessons again. I've already started piano. My teacher seems nice and is challenging. She kept saying "I haven't played this in a hundred years!" but it's been inspiring to have the thought in the back of my head, Nina is coming in a week... will I be able to play this song perfectly? No. I'd better practice again. I'm learning Clair de Lune! I've started it twice.. maybe even three times.. this'll be the time :)

January 4, 2011

no more 2 dimensional worries :)

A few of the things in my collage...

city of lights.
pon and zi.
panda bear.
be ok.
frozen moments.
owl city.
white christmas.

January 2, 2011


this is a poem I wrote the other night... I was mad and couldn't sleep. :P

I'm just a blonde insomniac
Thoughts keep parading through my head
Every few minutes I shift my position,
But the view stays the same.

I guess I fall asleep just to dream,
And my dreams are weird.

I can't get comfortable, I can't slow my mind
And I think I'll be awake forever.
I'm just a blonde insomniac
I'm too young to use that excuse.
All I can do is toss and turn
My heart and my head won't call truce.

A good night's rest, a dreamless sleep
To just close my eyes is all I need
To wake up happy, feeling refreshed
To brush my teeth and whistle as I get dressed

I'm just a blonde insomniac
Too tired to fall asleep...