June 11, 2014

Dear Montana Bible College

Dear Montana Bible College,

You were hard on me. You challenged me, impressed me, and thrilled me.

Because of you, I read the entire Bible in a school year, lost hours and hours of sleep, stayed up late writing papers and reading books, cut back drastically on regular showering, stopped wearing makeup, and gained almost twenty pounds.

Because of you, I made new friends I know I can count on for a lifetime.

Because of you, I love naps again.

But you taught me a lot. You put a lot of opportunities for grace, both given and received, into my life.

You showed me that I need to research things for myself, that I know next to nothing about Christianity and the Bible, and that a lot of the time my parents know what they're talking about.

You inspired me. A year ago, I would never have said "I'll probably get a degree from MBC." But look at my new plan!

I love you, Montana Bible College. Keep it real.

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Location:Belgrade, Montana

May 11, 2014

I could live these nights forever.

stoplights bleeding bright all over the rainy roads

angsty pop songs from the speakers, a bit too loud. I don't mind.

roads once threatening, now familiar

laughter with sweet friends I may never see again.

my hands on the steering wheel, they just fit

finally back to work. are viruses getting stronger?

a to-do list I'm really excited for

chipped same-day nail polish

Simeon's shaved face

squeaky voice, reminiscent of powerful fever yesterday and evidence of coming out on top, conqueror.

low voice laughing

May 7, 2014

Little Days

Devotions by the fire

Sweet coffee

Cold toes

Oatmeal pancakes sizzling in the pan for sleeping roommate

I can stay in my pajamas all day if I want to.

🎶don't want no big days, just want to be as small as I can be🎶🎶

Workout schedules

Memory verses

Drizzled honey

Fluffy hair

Snow in the morning, melted

This is going to be a good good summer.

May 1, 2014

Sometimes you see grace on the horizon, but sometimes you see it in the rearview.

I feel like grace defines my life. As I was driving from Bozeman to Kalispell today all alone, singing too loud and eating dessert skittles, I was thinking about grace. I paged through my journal a few days ago, skimming highlights and low points of my first year at MBC. I wish I could write them here, but there are actually too many to count. In fact, I wrote down more than a thousand gifts in my journal between September and April. And the list keeps growing.

This is going to be one of the best summers ever. I know it. I know it because it's started off with a hoarse throat from so much singing, Lucy-girl sneezing in triplicate, a cupcake with a fresh strawberry on top, and I'm cozy in my very own bed in my very own room. I can hear crickets and birds chirping. My hangnails all hurt and my eyelids are drooping because I got four hours of sleep last night.

I think Grace may be my new name... At least it's my new eyes. And I'm so excited for what's to come.

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April 30, 2014

End of the Year To-Do List

- cuddle my puppy!!!

- sleep til I want to wake up

- hug my mom and cry about all the stuff I've held in, all semester (it needs to happen)

- read a book. any book. because I want to.

- go for a run

- take a shower :)

- 6 hour drive to kalispell, singing really loud

- play piano

 - devotions by the fireplace

 - see people who live in Bozeman

- translate a French book

 - drink tea, lots of tea

- go to the gym

Faith diets from stress and feasts on grace. - Ann Voskamp

April 18, 2014

"Freshman" Year Draws to a Close

As things wind down (or wind up, depending on how you look at it) here in Bozeman this spring, I thought I would reflect on a few things I've learned since I've been here at MBC, with the help of my journal as a reference.

- how to go a week without showering. It's surprisingly easy.

- coconut oil is good for everything.

- suddenly everything is a lot more expensive than it was when I lived with my parents.

- the Lord is my banner. Yahweh-Nissi.

- I want to own a little coffee shop one day, full of squishy couches and old books and Scott Barkan playing constantly.

- it is okay to break up with someone that makes you miserable, even if they tell you that they don't make you miserable.

- of all the places I applied to work, I never suspected I'd be hired at a hardware store... and I never thought I'd like it!

- my parents really know what they're talking about.

- snow bunnies are the tastiest thing in all of ever.

- you can't trust every person that tells you you're cute.

- Lorde's album is really, really good.

- I can run from my apartment to Zocalo, so I really know all I need to know. :)

You and I, caught up in wind like we were parachutes<3 p="">

March 2, 2014

Sum it Up, February!

Last month flew by. Here are a few things I did in 28 days.

I ran 12 1/2 miles. Not quite on track with my running goals, but when it's cold like this I'm too pansy to run outside, so I wait until a day off (I have four completely free days every month) to go to the gym.

I did insanity 11 times. I feel really good.

I finished reading one book - Let the Nations be Glad! By John Piper. Excellent read.

We did some math in our intro to biblical counseling class last week where we figured out how many hours a week we spend doing stuff. Then we got a chart to start writing down in half-hour increments everything that we do all day long.

I tried lamb for the first time, complete with mint jelly. I wished I'd been wearing high heels instead of boots, cuz it was both classy and delicious.

I finished my first (well, technically my second) list of 1,000 gifts.

I spent roughly 116 hours at Ace hardware.

I spent roughly 68 hours in class.

And who knows how much time I spent on homework and assignments (not enough, I would say).

March is going to be a good month... :)

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February 23, 2014

A Post Without Words

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February 22, 2014


Tight back muscles

Crossing off to-do's

Rebuking Jenae for listening to Ylvis

78 cent Peace Tea

Fireside homework

Fluffy curled hair

Brushing snow off the car AGAIN with no end in sight

Knee high socks and slippers

Sola for breakfast

Gospel of John

Location:Bozeman,United States

February 19, 2014

Elevating the Standard

Quickly wanted to share an acrostic my roommate wrote for me in Applied Bible Study Methods.

Not your average bombshell blonde,
Incinerating those whistlers as she walks by
Cumulating the awesome, blowing up that club
Over and above any critiques or expectations,
Laughing like Scott the Hipster,
Elevating the standard.

Day made!! :)

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February 5, 2014

First Things First

First things first:
Word in.
Work out.
Work plan.

This sounds simple enough. My mom sent me a care package for valentine's day containing various good and fun and some delicious things for me, along with Ann Voskamp's 25 Point Manifesto for Sanity . She included a poster for me, plus instructions for each point. Here are the instructions for #1:

Open your eyes every morning and do just 3 first.
Word in. Get into God's Word and let it get into you.
Work out. (Not a hard thing for me)
Work plan. Write out the work plan. Then work the plan.

I've been struggling with time management already this semester. It's a heavier work load as far as credits and school, and I'm working an extra shift each week. I'm already exhausted. I'm tired of reading, memorizing, researching, cleaning. I feel heavy and weighed down. I've been stuck in sin and freed and stuck again and why do I keep going back to it? I am TIRED.

But, you know what? More grace.

More grace.

I am so excited to start my sweet sister Ann's 25 point manifesto. This is a good year. The no fear year. I climb into bed each night exhausted, and I wake up thankful and excited (and cold!). There is always more grace.

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Location:Bozeman, MT

January 18, 2014

Today's Trouble is Enough

I'm contemplating the near future as I sit here chugging earl grey tea with stevia.

My options are, 1) returning to Kalispell for the summer, and hoping to work at Sizzler again and possibly a second job. (Ace in Kalispell, maybe?) I could live at my parents' house for free, but it'd be a twenty-five minute jaunt to school everyday.

Or 2) I could stay here and work at Ace full time (and/or maybe find a night job waitressing), and live in the super abandoned MBC dorms for not very much money, and be five minutes from anywhere.

This is a hard decision to think about because neither option is flawless. I miss Grace Church desperately, and I miss my parents and Lucy so much! but that's really all Kalispell has to offer me. I've moved on from many of my friendships there, and I foresee that I could become very restless and unhappy going back for three months.

On the other hand, staying in Bozeman isn't ideal either. I don't know of many other people who would be staying at the school over the summer (possibly my roommate, but she has the same conundrum), so I could still be really lonely if I was intentional about building relationships and hanging out with people.

Then there's the question of what should I do next fall? I had to drop a class this semester I really wanted to take, so that thought alone makes me feel like I should take a light load at MBC, possibly music classes at MSU, and lots of work at Ace. But I also want to move on to another school when I'm done here, and whatever school I choose would certainly have a class similar if not identical to the one I had to drop. So should I just move somewhere? Just start working?

I hate these adult decisions I've had to make lately,
And I just drank the last of my tea, so that means it's time to put makeup on my face and stand up to this day like the big girl I am.

And I won't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. (Matthew 6:34,33)

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January 12, 2014

Right Now I Love...

Clumsy Ninja for iPad

LoveSpell by Victoria's Secret

Putting Torani's coconut syrup in my chai tea

The Greener Grass Conspiracy by Stephen Altrogge

Not playing pool

Fleece-lined leggings from Rue 21

Running again!

Having Internet in my room

Clean kitchen counters

The New Testament

ACE brand ice melt

Burpee challenge

Green tea chai with espresso

This picture:

Because whatever I am, it is all because He poured out His riches on me.

January 9, 2014

Buzz Buzz Buzz

Good evening, all.

It's actually two minutes to Friday morning, and I do need to work, but I accidentally drank caffeinated chai and so I thought I'd stay up and ramble about my life for a minute.

Here is my schedule.

Monday and Wednesday:
New Testament Survey 8:00-9:20
Intro to Biblical Counseling 9:30-10:50
Logic 12:40-1:30
Apologetics 1:40-3:00

Tuesday and Thursday:
Applied Bible Study Methods 8:00-8:50
Gospel of John 9:00-9:50
Christian Missions Perspectives 10:00-10:50
Chapel 11:00-11:50

I'm also scheduled to work at Ace on Mondays from 3:30-9:00, Thursdays 12:30-9:00, Fridays 10:00-5:00 and every other Saturday and Sunday 9:00-6:00.

So far, I'm sort of in a daze.. If someone asks me what classes I'm taking, I can remember that there are seven but I can't list them all. I've already started on homework assignments. A lot of classes have something due every single class period (*coughcounselingcough*). I'm required to do things like pick out a sin issue in my life to work on over the semester, read and summarize each book of the New Testament, read the gospel of John 15 times, give a ten minute presentation in front of the class, listen to hours of sermons, write pages and pages of papers, and read giant textbooks. It's going to probably be the hardest few months of my life, right now. Last semester when I was weeping over finals that loomed over my head like dark cliffs will probably seem like a cakewalk compared to this. And yet.. I'm okay with having a hard time with this stuff. I recognize it for what it is - an opportunity for trust. If I was automatically good at things... If studying came easily... If I didn't make stupid mistakes at work... If I tested well... If I lost weight without trying... If stuff was EASY for me, I would turn away from Christ.

And that is something I never want to do. It's why I'm here, to learn to cling to Him. And something I thought of: He already knows all the homework. He invented the subjects ^_^

What I'm (about to be) reading: Stained Glass Hearts by Patsy Clairmont
What I'm (really) reading: The Wizard of Oz
What I (should be) reading: New Testament Survey by Merrill C. Tenney

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January 6, 2014

You Learn Something New Everyday

So, we're all pretty familiar with The Wizard of Oz, right?

You know, Dorothy, Toto, cowardly lion, wicked witch of the west, so on and so forth.

Well, I thought I knew the story really well, too - except now, I'm reading the book by L. Frank Baum (did you know The Wizard of Oz is only one out of fourteen books he wrote about Oz?). I just started it yesterday.

Everything was fine until I got to chapter five, The Rescue of the Tin Woodman. Did you catch that? Not tin man... Tin WOODMAN.

Lets let him tell his story.

"I was born the son of a woodman who chopped down trees in the forest and sold the wood for a living. When I grew up I too became a woodchopper, and after my father died I took care of my old mother as long as she lived. Then I made up my mind that instead of living alone I would marry, so that I might not become lonely.

"There was one of the Munchkin girls who was so beautiful that I soon grew to love her with all my heart. She, on her part, promised to marry me as soon as I could earn enough money to build a better house for her; so I set to work harder than ever. But the girl lived with an old woman who did not want her to marry anyone, for she was so lazy she wished the girl to remain with her and do the cooking and the housework. So the old woman went to the wicked Witch of the East, and promised her two sheep and a cow if she would prevent the marriage. Thereupon the wicked Witch enchanted my axe, and when I was chopping away at my best one day, for I was anxious to get the new house and my wife as soon as possible, the axe slipped at once and cut off my left leg."

(Wait... What??)

"This at first seemed a great misfortune, for I knew a one-legged man could not do very well as a woodchopper. So I went to a tin-smith, and had him make me a new leg out of tin. The leg worked very well, once I was used to it; but my action angered the wicked Witch of the East, for she had promised the old woman I should not marry the little Munchkin girl. When I began chopping again my axe slipped and cut off my right leg. Again I went to the tinner, and again he made me a leg out of tin. After this the enchanted axe cut off my arms, one after the other; but, nothing daunted, I had them replaced with tin ones. The wicked Witch then made the axe slip and cut off my head, and at first I thought that was the end of me. But the tinner happened to come along, and he made me a new head out of tin."

(So... He just sat there, gory and beheaded until the tinner walked by accidentally....)

"I thought I had beaten the wicked Witch then, and I worked harder than ever; but I little knew how cruel my enemy could be. She thought of a new way to kill my love for the beautiful Munchkin maiden, and made my axe slip again, so that it cut right through my body, splitting me into two halves. Once more the tinner came to my help and made me a body of tin, fastening my tin arms and legs and head to it, by means of joints, so that I could move around as well as ever. But alas! I now had no heart, so that I lost all my love for the little Munchkin girl, and did not care whether I married her or not. I suppose she is still living with the old woman, waiting for me to come after her."

Um...whoa. I just... Wow.

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