January 26, 2011

Open to the Possibilities I Ignored

I'm stuck.

Not on a math problem... not in a snow bank. Not even (as was the dilemma of Cinderella in Into the Woods) in a gooey trap set for me by the prince. (Good song by the way. If you're in a Broadwayish sort of mood you can listen here.)

I'm stuck in life. I don't even know what I'm doing.

Maybe it's my three-hour break between classes that makes me feel completely useless. Maybe because people take for granted that I'm just always in the same place, waiting. That is how it feels in my life, too. Just always in the same place. Always waiting.

I was playing the piano a bit ago and the thought crossed my mind. What am I doing with my life? I often have conversations with myself while I'm playing, so it wasn't a shock or anything, but it rather depressed me. I'm not really doing... well... anything. I'm not changing anyone's life. I'm not changing my own life. More than half the time, I don't even feel like I'm being a good friend. Or a good person.

I guess I will just stay stuck for awhile, with the comforting thought that God has an ingenious plan for my life... and as my wise dad often says... "wait awhile and just be open."

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday.  - Winnie-the-Pooh

1 comment:

Frizz said...

I don't take for granted that you will always be on the bench. I always hope you are, and if you weren't I'd miss you, but I never just "know" you will be there.
And you are a good friend to me:)