July 26, 2011

The Real To-Do List

Smile at strangers.
Keep learning.
Notice kindness.
Eat ice cream.
Count your blessings.
Love some more.

July 25, 2011

"everyone will be looking at my feet..."

I shut my toe in a door today.

I have really strong toenails, and it hurt enough to cripple my mind so that I forgot every swear word I know - I just knew it hurt. But when blood started to seep out of my toe onto my flip flop, I got a little scared. I thought I was home alone, and this scared me too, but when I looked out the window I saw Jason's car. I limped up to his room, crying softly, and told him what happened.

"I shut my toe in the door," I murmured. "It's bleeding and I don't know what to do."

He hugged me. "It'll be okay," he said.

I raised my voice a little bit. "It won't be okay! What if it falls off?!"

"It probably won't."

For some reason, this answer frustrated me. I am not a best-case scenario person. I like to know the worst that could happen so that when it doesn't, I feel better. I wrenched myself out of his embrace and realized that I wouldn't feel better until I fully expressed my emotions in the moment. So I started yelling, and with the yelling I started crying harder.

"I just wanted to go to the gym," I garbled loudly. "My intentions were completely innocent! I JUST WANTED TO RUN A FEW MILES! What if my toenail turns horribly ugly? I HAVE A WEDDING IN FOUR WEEKS!"

Jason helped me into my room and I sat on the edge of my bed, still sobbing and shouting gibberish.

"Even if it does, no one will be looking at your feet," he offered.

"YES. THEY WILL." (I say that just because I am the type of person that goes to a wedding and examines everyone's feet. I realize probably no one else in the whole world does this.)

By this time, my dad was coming up the stairs. I guess he was out mowing the lawn and heard me loudly expressing my displeasure about my day, and it concerned him. After Jason and I pooled our efforts to tell him what happened, since I was still very upset and not a good storyteller, my dad felt around on my toe to make sure it wasn't broken. At least I think that's what he was doing. Then he sent Jason to get some Band-Aids, wrapped my toe tightly, and said there is a good chance it will be fine.

I gave up on going to the gym for several reasons - the first being that I was still crying for a long time after this happened, and I didn't feel that I should be driving; the second being that a half-hour had gone by and I wouldn't have had time to sufficiently work out before I had to to go to work, and the third being that I just wanted to lay around and feel sorry for myself for awhile. So I did. I cuddled my body pillow and watched Monk and ate some dark chocolate. But it didn't really help me feel better. I actually still don't really feel better.

The point I guess I am trying to make is that even when we slam our big toes in big mean doors, we have to just wrap them, cry for awhile, wash our faces and go to work. Life goes on.

Also, I hate irony.

What's Going On...

Well. I'm working 30 hour weeks, next week I start training as a server (yes! XD), I'm working out everyday to get ready for Jill's wedding, and I'm so very behind in my Bible reading. For awhile, I tried doing it at night after I got home from work, but the past few nights have been so late that when I get home I just fall into bed and sleep. Yesterday I left the house in tears because my room was a mess and I couldn't find my keys... I was just all-around stressed. When I got home around 1:30 AM, I found a clean room with a fixed bed. <3 my mom is the best, I will just say that. 

So where will you find me today? I will spend my early afternoon at home, working on French (I'm getting a jump start for  my class in the fall), reading my Bible, practicing voice and piano, and cleaning up a bit. Then I'll head off to the Summit to work out hard, shower, and then to work at 5! I'm guessing work will tire me out today, so I'll probably head home right after - and I should be back about 10:30. I may have to hit up City Brew today. This is basically what my life consists of. *shrug* 

However, in other news: beginning in the fall, I will be directing the homeschool junior choir (ages 5-7)! I'm so excited for this opportunity; it works perfectly with my schedule, plus I have been waiting for this opportunity foreeeevvvverrrr!!! (also, a little spending money would be nice. *wink*) I love the junior choir. This year is just going to be so much fun. 

I had better go get started on my day. It's almost noon, and I'm not technically out of bed yet... Be blessed in the LORD today :) 

P.S., to see some pretty photos of me, go here. 

July 11, 2011

a man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - herb caen

I have not blogged in quite some time, for the simple reason that I haven't been doing much. I work about 35 hours a week (with the exception of this week, I have 19) and when I'm not working, I'm usually hanging out with friends or at home, desperately trying to clean my room. It somehow gets messier the less I am there. Also, I hate irony.

Anywhom, the purpose of this post specifically is to share with you my wisdom teeth videos (I think every Internet-loving, uneasily embarrassed American teenager uploads at least one video of their post-wisdom teeth extraction onto facebook or some other social network. I have two because the doctor came in at the end of the first one). It is surprising how unmiserable I feel, since I just had it done this morning - and I have noticed, in the last several hours especially, I have become very chatty and will not leave my mother's side. Also, I only had 3 teeth to be extracted, because I am conveniently missing one! So even now, my swelling is uneven. I will also try to provide commentary at the end of the post on some of the things I remember saying that didn't get recorded. (The camera ran out of memory. Sigh.)

My mom told me later I was concerned about how I got into the recovery room. This is actually something I remember thinking about before I even went under, because I noticed the chair had no wheels... And then later on, in the recovery room, I double-checked with my mom to make sure they didn't take my pants off. Surgery phobia. When the nurse finally came in and I asked her, she told me I ran, and I said, "really?! that's dangerous!" and then she smiled and said no, not really, and that I came in a wheelchair. I also informed my mom that I wanted a boyfriend, and she said, "really, why?" and I replied that I wanted someone to cuddle with me post-surgery. "well, what about me?!" (mom was a little indignant.) I told her, with a big smile, that she was adequate.. :)