I'm Not Unworthy
I went to the gym today for the first time in more than two months.
It's not because I'm lazy that I haven't been going; more of the opposite actually. When I planned out my school schedule as I ambitiously do each semester, I made plans to visit the gym at least 3 times a week and work out at home on the other days (along with my job, my 20 credits, my choir directing, my play, and sleeping sometime?).
Ha. Ha.
So finally, this week, I decided I would never have time, and that if it was going to happen, I would just have to suck it up and make it happen.
So I did.
While I was there, I felt amazing. Often when I visit the gym, I feel almost unworthy to be there. I have this mental block that I should work out at home and get all thin and sexy FIRST, and THEN go to the gym and look as amazing as I feel I ought to.
Ha. Ha.
But today, I didn't feel embarrassed. Granted, I didn't feel thin or sexy... but I didn't feel unworthy either. I felt proud of myself. I felt like I'm starting somewhere, and that felt really good.
Lately I have just been experiencing and re-experiencing the Lord making me new, each day... and I love it.
No more laughing, 'cause this is awesome. :)
It's not because I'm lazy that I haven't been going; more of the opposite actually. When I planned out my school schedule as I ambitiously do each semester, I made plans to visit the gym at least 3 times a week and work out at home on the other days (along with my job, my 20 credits, my choir directing, my play, and sleeping sometime?).
Ha. Ha.
So finally, this week, I decided I would never have time, and that if it was going to happen, I would just have to suck it up and make it happen.
So I did.
While I was there, I felt amazing. Often when I visit the gym, I feel almost unworthy to be there. I have this mental block that I should work out at home and get all thin and sexy FIRST, and THEN go to the gym and look as amazing as I feel I ought to.
Ha. Ha.
But today, I didn't feel embarrassed. Granted, I didn't feel thin or sexy... but I didn't feel unworthy either. I felt proud of myself. I felt like I'm starting somewhere, and that felt really good.
Lately I have just been experiencing and re-experiencing the Lord making me new, each day... and I love it.
No more laughing, 'cause this is awesome. :)
Comments